October 5, 2012

Top Ten things so embarassing they would end the NHL lockout

Embarrassing NHL Intertouchdown
It's amazing how quickly things change when someone gets embarrassed - like the NFL and the replacement referees. With a blown call in the Seattle-Green Bay game that swung an estimated quarter billion dollars in bets worldwide and "poof" the Refs and NFL came to an agreement just like that.

So I got to thinking "What would be so embarrassing for the NHL that it would end their lockout?

Top Ten things so embarrassing for the NHL it would end the lockout:

10. Media discover secret tape of Bettman and Owners insulting 47% of fans. Bettman denies it by saying-"Actually I said 97%"

9. NBC broadcasts an AHL game in the US and no one notices it is not the NHL.

8. Wayne Gretzky comes out saying he might start a new league and immediately all the players say they are willing to play for 24% less than their current contract.

7. NHL and NHLPA meet for 3 days on 'secondary issues' and can't agree on what kind of caviar to serve or whose limousine to use.

6. NHL comes out with their own Maps application "accidentally" placing the Oilers in Seattle.

NHL Lockout empty chairs
5.Trying to outdo Clint Eastwood, Gary Bettman starts lecturing about 'entitlement' and 'Wide Gap' to an empty hockey arena.

4. The Detroit Red Wings owner Jim Devellano gets named in the XL foods tainted beef class action lawsuit. Develano defends himself by saying - "Hey the players are tainted."

3. At an NHLPA press conference someone starts playing the Hockey Night in Canada theme song and all the players begin to weep uncontrollably.

2. Sports media go to several individual owners for comment and they all reply "There's a lockout?"

And the number one thing that would be soooo embarrassing it would end the NHL Lockout:

1. NHL Disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan is sent a video of Shea Weber shoving someone head into the glass like a WWF wrestler and only gives him a $2500 fine. (Wait - What do you mean this already happened?!? I guess we'll all have to watch curling this winter.)

Happy Friday everyone!