July 27, 2012

Top 10 Things that can save Blackberry from bankruptcy

Back in January 2012 I wrote about how bad the outlook was for Research in Motion. Little did I know how bad it was going to be. In addition to more than halving it's share price, the company's has had massive layoffs, product delays, and even a fine in hundreds of millions of US Dollars. 

But let's not dwell on the negative!

Here are the Top Ten things that can save RIM:

10. Develop an application that helps users distinguish between the North Korean and South Korean Flags

9. Allow kids to run with scissors safely.

8. Grant users immortality.

7. Blackberry 10 transforms into your own personal Optimus Prime

 6. Create App that can turn back time (to like June 20th 2008 maybe when RIM was $148/share.)

5. Google comes out with their own useless superheroes advertising campaign for their Android phones

 4. Do the opposite of whatever Nortel did when they went from ~$140 to $0.

3. It's as easy as out-marketing, out-maneuvering, and out-innovating two top US technology companies in the universe (and do it today!).

2. Add button to turn your Blackberry into a fully functioning light saber.

And the #1 thing that can save Research in Motion is. . .

1. The US Government buys out Apple - they can ruin ANYthing*

*Don't worry though this will never happen - 'cause Apple has more money than the US Gov't.

Happy Friday everyone - Enjoy the London 2012 Olympics!