January 16, 2009

Top 10 Things the Phoenix Coyotes can do to stretch their finances:

So a lot of rumours have been going around about the Phoenix Coyotes NHL club not making it to the end of the season because they are in deep, deep financial trouble. They have been losing in the neighbourhood of $35 Million for years and are now so deep into their $80 Million line of credit that they had to ask the NHL for an advance of their share of the league TV revenue. (Could you imagine trying to collect on that baby!?).

So here are the Top 10 Things the Coyotes can do to stretch their finances:

10. Make the players share sticks.
9. Break into people's houses and cut off their air conditioning so people look for somewhere cold. 8. Replace the Zamboni with a guy using a spray bottle and a squeegee
6. Replace players paycheques with autographed picture of Wayne Gretzky
5. Insult the President to gain more publicity (Hey it worked for Kanye West)
4. Rent out the arena for weddings and barmitzphas. . . during the game.
3. Ask fans to throw back pucks when they go into the stands.
2. Change their name to the Cardinals to trick people into buying tickets
1. Get the players to go door to door selling chocolates like they used to do in the midget hockey!

Happy Friday everyone!

PS - If you were thinking number 1 should have been move back to Winnipeg there is a flaw - they are currently stuck in a 30 year lease! Yikes!